The day is seared into my brain

It was Thursday, May 8, 2014.  By that point I felt his anger might grow to  physical violence and I knew it was time to give him the choice to stay (and repent) or to leave. He chose to leave. And even though he had been abusive, contemptuous, and callous to all my feelings, even though he had cheated on me time and again, I still hoped he would change back into the sweet and kind man I thought I had married. Unfortunately, he did not change. He just started acting out even more. One day I will probably hear that he was either shot by a jealous husband or died of an STD.

But now I am making my own life, surrounded by family and friends who love me for me, unconditionally. There are so many take aways from my experience and I want to list a few of them here:

• Jesus will always love me. His Grace will save me, heal my hurts, and bind up my broken heart.
• Be kind. Everyone is suffering in some way. 
• Be patient, with myself and others. Grieving is a long process and doesn't have a time limit.
• Be real. Tell others how I feel and not ignore moments for meaningful conversations.
• Be trusting. This is a tough one, but I am getting better at it. 
• Be skeptical. If something feels wrong in a relationship, listen to my feelings and follow up.

These are just a few of the many lessons learned. Perhaps the most difficult lesson is learning that just because I am a good girl and keep the commandments, life isn't going to be easy. It's hard! It's discouraging and depressing! But there is joy in the journey and I know I can make it with Jesus leading me along.